*ER Locker Room*
(Nicholas Adams is sitting down with Shawn Adams, Don Reynolds, and Wang and Yung Tu Sung. They're all talking, but since Yung can't understand a single word, it's pretty entertaining for the other four. They happen to be playing poker with some fake money...chips, to be exact. But there isn't any money on the table, so it seems that they're not really gambling...they're just playing to make the game...interesting.)
Nicholas Adams:
I'll put in five.
Shawn Adams:
I'll call, and raise you five.
Don Reynolds:
Call, and raise you two.
Wang Tu Sung:
Call and raise you three.
(Yung, who hasn't understood that much, except for the word call, leans over to Wang, and everyone puts their cards face down on the table. Yung whispers something into Wang's ear, and then Wang and Yung have a back-and-forth dialogue. After a moment of consideration, Yung takes out a chip representing five, and tosses it in, saying something that only Wang understood. All three of the others look to him for a translation.)
Wang Tu Sung:
He said "Call, and raise you two."
Nicholas Adams:
Man, we have to learn Japanese sometime...
Shawn Adams:
Definitely. This is getting WAY too confusing.
Don Reynolds:
Hey, Wang, you got a Japanese dictionary, maybe a "Learn to speak Japanese" thing?
Wang Tu Sung:
Sorry, guys, all I've got is a, to translate it freely, "Learn to speak English" program for Yung.
Shawn Adams:
Well, guess this is how the game's gonna go, then...que sera sera.
Don Reynolds:
Dude, I don't think these two hablan espanol.
Nicholas Adams:
Si no crees que hablan la lingua, porque estas hablando en espanol?
(Wang and Yung look to each other, very confused, and both wondering what the hell they're saying. Nick, Shawn, and Don, for their part, know they're just kidding around, and burst into laughter. The team of Bondai looks at them as if they're insane.)
Shawn Adams:
Sorry, it was a little joke, man.
Don Reynolds:
Don't worry, we'll learn Japanese.
Nicholas Adams:
Eventually, yes...but it's gonna be a while.
Wang Tu Sung:
What language were you talking in just now.
Nicholas Adams:
Spanish, man. There's just a lot of latinoes in Colorado, so...
Shawn Adams:
You gotta know that language just to get around.
Don Reynolds:
It's sort of like needing to know French to go into Quebec.
(Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jack Squat appears in the room. All three of the former members of the Dominant Champions groan in unison just as soon as he opens his mouth and says...)
Jack Squat:
Hey, guys!
(Nick stands up, puts his cards on the table, motions that he folds, and pushes his way past Jack. Jack doesn't oppose him, but suddenly, Nick remembers something. He goes to his locker and pulls out two gold belts: the IRC title, and the Stable Title that Royal Inferno originally stole. He then walks out, and the camera fades to a shot of the...)
*Arena*
(The camera is looking at the announcer's booth, where Keith N. and Conrad Germain are sitting, as usual, so that they can announce the DIWF equivalent of the Super Bowl, Generations. Keith is the first to speak, right as the camera comes on.)
Keith:
Hello, ladies, and gentlemen, and welcome to the pre-PPV event, Degenerations! Here, we see some preliminary matches, as well as the opinions of some of the top DIWF wrestlers!
Conrad:
As well as, unfortunately, the opinions of some of the worst people in the entire wrestling business...and that really sucks.
Keith:
Hey, Conrad, it's not all that bad when you get right down to it. I mean, we need a way to get the crowd worked up for the actual Pay-Per-View.
Conrad:
This is worse than that time that we were signing autographs at WrestleWar, and only fans of Hell on Earth wanted my autograph.
(Suddenly, "Molly" hits the arena, and the camera zooms further back to show the ramp and the ring at the same time. Molly Holly walks out in loose jeans and a blue t-shirt. Molly Holly comes out calmly and looks out to the crowd as they start to cheer. She simply nods, and then walks down the ramp and steps between the ropes. After that happens, Kole Koulberg's theme hits, and the crowd suddenly turns silent. It's as if they're seriously bored.)
Keith:
Kole Koulberg obviously not getting any reaction whatsoever...
Conrad:
It figures...but that so-called "pure" Molly Holly gets all the cheers.
The bell rings.
Molly Holly and Kole Koulberg lock up.
Kole Koulberg uses his strength to try and get the advantage.
Kole Koulberg tried for a standing side headlock, but Molly Holly pushed him into the ropes.
Molly Holly gives Kole Koulberg a drop kick.
Molly Holly delivers an elbow drop to Kole Koulberg.
Kole Koulberg comes back up and punches Molly Holly.
Molly Holly becomes indignant and kicks Kole Koulberg in the gut.
Molly Holly gives Kole Koulberg a reverse bulldog.
Kole Koulberg is out cold.
A loud Molly Holly chant is starting up.
Molly Holly goes to the top rope.
Keith:
YES! She's going for her version of the Senton Bomb, the Molly-Go-Round!
Molly Holly executes a Molly-Go-Round on Kole Koulberg.
Molly Holly goes for the pin.
Jean-Luc counts: One, two, three.
The bell rings, and Molly Holly walks out of the arena, followed by Kole Koulberg about a minute afterwards.
Keith:
Well, that was a short match...but one victory for Molly Holly!
Conrad:
Koulberg was outmatched by a woman! HAH!
(Suddenly, "Forever" by Kid Rock hits the speakers, and the crowd cheers wildly, for they know who is coming down the ramp. Nick Adams' Jeep Laredo slams through the set and drives onto the ramp. The crowd cheers wildly at this crazy entrance, since Adams is just too nuts to be ignored, and he has done this once before. Nick steers to his right so that the driver's side is facing the ring, and turns off the engine. He slams the horn once in anger, and the crowd begins to cheer "ER rocks!" Adams slams open the door, slams it shut, and looks at the crowd with an air of confidence. He runs down the ramp, signals for a mic to be tossed to him, and a microphone flies throgh the air. Nick catches the mic running and slides into the ring. The crowd cheers "ER rocks" even louder, and Adams looks out at the crowd with quiet anticipation, and quite possibly a controlled rage. He then begins to speak over the mic.)
Nicholas Adams:
Well, well, well, looks like Generations is coming up pretty soon, and I happen to be in one match in this very arena! It will be my pleasure to help take down the likes of Hell on Earth side-by-side with Robb Fury, Joe Icon, the team of Bondai, and the InterNet Tag Team champions, DOWN TIME! Do you want to know why it will be my pleasure to do so? Because Volkane went and tried to find my home, and he found some old couple that just happened to have the same name, as well as a son by the same name. What a dick. For one, he was driving in suburbia. My parents live in the damn south side of Denver! Those two, I think I recognize...they're the parents of this one guy I knew in high school. We looked nothing alive, but we had the same first and last names. Since my middle name was Victor, and his was Jacob, we decided to have a coin flip to see who went by their middle name throughout high school. I won the coin toss, but Jake...or, should I say, the other Nicholas Adams, never told his parents that that had happened. My parents are still in very good shape. The other Nick does do some amateur wrestling and all that, and I actually ran in to him one time. We actually teamed up for a single match, and the announcers and the crowd were so confused that they just gave up trying to understand why the ring announcer introduced us a "Both Nicholas Adamses!" It was funny as hell, and we had a riot after that. We went out, ate some sushi, talked about what was going on at the time, and parted ways. He's finally gotten a full-time job in one of the all-rookie leagues, last I heard, but that sure wasn't my home...my home was a small apartment in south Denver. My parents moved into a bigger house after I left for college, but it sure isn't labelled with anything. That's so that random people can's just walk into your door and say some bull to you. Trust me, if you had gone to my parents' home, the first thing that he would have said would be, "Prove that you have some relation to me." And if you didn't do that, he'd have taken out a baseball bat, clocked one of you on the side of the head, then continued by knocking the remaining guy out with a right cross, and he would have finished off by telling my mom to call the cops. But seeing as you didn't get your ass kicked, you were way off. Hell, you were probably all the way across the city from where my parents live. Volkane, you're a jackass, and so is your new manage, Psycho Werewolf...speaking of which, that's really a dumb name, man. The initials PW are included in the abbreviation of the Professional Women's Wrestling League. So, Werewolf, I think that from now on, I think I'll call you Professional Woman, since you just seem unable to take down anyone in the ring anymore. Trust me, man, it's old, and you really need to get out of the act. Besides, Volkane, why do you need a manager? You're only one man. I thought that you could get your own stuff done for you. If that isn't the truth, then that's just too bad for you, isn't it? You've finally realised what I've known all along: you can't get what you need to get done on your own. Your recruitment of Royal Inferno into Hell on Earth says as much, your need for Psycho Werewolf's help says even more, and your competition for a vacant title against a man that is definitely more pathetic than you are...and that's saying a lot...finalizes the fact that the deck has to be stacked in your favor for you to EVER get a win. Sad, isn't it. Well, I am going to get the IRC title from you, regardless of anything else you guys say. And that teddy bear...well, it'll be a nice gift for my girlfriend with a little mending, I guess. Then again, you can have the stuffed animal. I'm gonna get her something nicer and less cliched than a little stuffed bear for a present.
(The crowd waits for a couple seconds as Adams collects his thoughts, and then finally gets on with his speech.)
Nicholas Adams:
Now, on to Royal Inferno. He seems pretty confident in his assumption that I need to steal the gold just to say I have it...that I have to stoop to that level. Well, I just wanna say, you must not get it, Inferno. I just don't think either Volkane or you are deserving of the IRC title, and I actually am. I don't regret that I broke into Heather's office, pulled out a few notes to herself and shredded them, and then took the IRC title. Heather removed Genesis, someone who probably deserved to have that belt, from his championship spot. she said that he was endangering the people around him just to be extreme. And then she hands off title shots to both you and Volkane. It's enough to make me heave right here and now, but I have a little more self control than that. I actually am coming out here to say that you aren't a Rising Star...you're a star that's somewhat high in the sky, but you aren't going anywhere. My opinion of you is like the opiniong that Julius Caesar had for himself. You are as constant as the Northern Star. You are constantly a jackass, you are constantly a Narcissist, you constantly berate others and have the sheer arrogance to think that people want to be like you, and you are constantly a royal pain in the ass! You say that I just want to be like you, huh? Well, if I were like you, I would have to one, smack myself in the head and ask how the hell that happened, two, go pledge loyalty to Hell on Earth, three, help them keep the stable titles, and finally, four, act like a jackass to get kicked out of Hell on Earth, but still keep the damn stable belt. Yeah, sure, EVERYBODY wants to be like you...a loser who just can't admit that he's a loser! You see, Royal Inferno, Volkane is actually being the smart one right now! You should be worried about me, Royal Inferno, and do you know why? Because after Generations, I'm going to be going after the IRC champion's ass, and if you happen to win that match, guess who the hell I'm going after: you, buddy boy. That's right, I'm going after your sorry little rear like a...damn, I can't think of any simile that can truly describe what I'm going to do to you, or how I'm going to pursue you and your title should you win the IRC belt that you should NEVER have had a shot at. The DIWF really is going to the dogs these days, and the fact that either you or Volkane will be the IRC champion just solidifies that fact. But I think that I'll be able to do a little animal control once I just get a contendorship spot for the IRC title. And trust me, the IRC title will be mine. I've waited too long to not get it now. I've waited too long to get some legitimate gold to be put down by some jackass who thinks he's all that when the guys that are all that are in the Extreme Revolution! That's right, man, the Extreme Revolution...not current or former members of Hell on Earth. I may consider just keeping this belt instead of having Dave buy a new one. But you know what?
Crowd:
WHAT?
Nicholas Adams:
You know what?
Crowd:
WHAT?
Nicholas Adams:
DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
Crowd:
WHAT?
Nicholas Adams:
I WILL STILL ALWAYS COME OUT ON TOP!
("Forever" hits the speakers and Nick drops the mic. He walks out of the ring, up the ramp, and up to his Jeep Laredo. He opens the door, turns on the engine, and drives backward over the ramp, making sure that he only goes through the busted segment of the set. The crowd cheers as the engine revs, and fireworks shoot off spontaneously as Nick's Jeep disappears behind the curtain that was originally in the back of the broken facade of the arena entrance.)
*Fade to Black*
(Nicholas Adams is sitting down with Shawn Adams, Don Reynolds, and Wang and Yung Tu Sung. They're all talking, but since Yung can't understand a single word, it's pretty entertaining for the other four. They happen to be playing poker with some fake money...chips, to be exact. But there isn't any money on the table, so it seems that they're not really gambling...they're just playing to make the game...interesting.)
Nicholas Adams:
I'll put in five.
Shawn Adams:
I'll call, and raise you five.
Don Reynolds:
Call, and raise you two.
Wang Tu Sung:
Call and raise you three.
(Yung, who hasn't understood that much, except for the word call, leans over to Wang, and everyone puts their cards face down on the table. Yung whispers something into Wang's ear, and then Wang and Yung have a back-and-forth dialogue. After a moment of consideration, Yung takes out a chip representing five, and tosses it in, saying something that only Wang understood. All three of the others look to him for a translation.)
Wang Tu Sung:
He said "Call, and raise you two."
Nicholas Adams:
Man, we have to learn Japanese sometime...
Shawn Adams:
Definitely. This is getting WAY too confusing.
Don Reynolds:
Hey, Wang, you got a Japanese dictionary, maybe a "Learn to speak Japanese" thing?
Wang Tu Sung:
Sorry, guys, all I've got is a, to translate it freely, "Learn to speak English" program for Yung.
Shawn Adams:
Well, guess this is how the game's gonna go, then...que sera sera.
Don Reynolds:
Dude, I don't think these two hablan espanol.
Nicholas Adams:
Si no crees que hablan la lingua, porque estas hablando en espanol?
(Wang and Yung look to each other, very confused, and both wondering what the hell they're saying. Nick, Shawn, and Don, for their part, know they're just kidding around, and burst into laughter. The team of Bondai looks at them as if they're insane.)
Shawn Adams:
Sorry, it was a little joke, man.
Don Reynolds:
Don't worry, we'll learn Japanese.
Nicholas Adams:
Eventually, yes...but it's gonna be a while.
Wang Tu Sung:
What language were you talking in just now.
Nicholas Adams:
Spanish, man. There's just a lot of latinoes in Colorado, so...
Shawn Adams:
You gotta know that language just to get around.
Don Reynolds:
It's sort of like needing to know French to go into Quebec.
(Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jack Squat appears in the room. All three of the former members of the Dominant Champions groan in unison just as soon as he opens his mouth and says...)
Jack Squat:
Hey, guys!
(Nick stands up, puts his cards on the table, motions that he folds, and pushes his way past Jack. Jack doesn't oppose him, but suddenly, Nick remembers something. He goes to his locker and pulls out two gold belts: the IRC title, and the Stable Title that Royal Inferno originally stole. He then walks out, and the camera fades to a shot of the...)
*Arena*
(The camera is looking at the announcer's booth, where Keith N. and Conrad Germain are sitting, as usual, so that they can announce the DIWF equivalent of the Super Bowl, Generations. Keith is the first to speak, right as the camera comes on.)
Keith:
Hello, ladies, and gentlemen, and welcome to the pre-PPV event, Degenerations! Here, we see some preliminary matches, as well as the opinions of some of the top DIWF wrestlers!
Conrad:
As well as, unfortunately, the opinions of some of the worst people in the entire wrestling business...and that really sucks.
Keith:
Hey, Conrad, it's not all that bad when you get right down to it. I mean, we need a way to get the crowd worked up for the actual Pay-Per-View.
Conrad:
This is worse than that time that we were signing autographs at WrestleWar, and only fans of Hell on Earth wanted my autograph.
(Suddenly, "Molly" hits the arena, and the camera zooms further back to show the ramp and the ring at the same time. Molly Holly walks out in loose jeans and a blue t-shirt. Molly Holly comes out calmly and looks out to the crowd as they start to cheer. She simply nods, and then walks down the ramp and steps between the ropes. After that happens, Kole Koulberg's theme hits, and the crowd suddenly turns silent. It's as if they're seriously bored.)
Keith:
Kole Koulberg obviously not getting any reaction whatsoever...
Conrad:
It figures...but that so-called "pure" Molly Holly gets all the cheers.
The bell rings.
Molly Holly and Kole Koulberg lock up.
Kole Koulberg uses his strength to try and get the advantage.
Kole Koulberg tried for a standing side headlock, but Molly Holly pushed him into the ropes.
Molly Holly gives Kole Koulberg a drop kick.
Molly Holly delivers an elbow drop to Kole Koulberg.
Kole Koulberg comes back up and punches Molly Holly.
Molly Holly becomes indignant and kicks Kole Koulberg in the gut.
Molly Holly gives Kole Koulberg a reverse bulldog.
Kole Koulberg is out cold.
A loud Molly Holly chant is starting up.
Molly Holly goes to the top rope.
Keith:
YES! She's going for her version of the Senton Bomb, the Molly-Go-Round!
Molly Holly executes a Molly-Go-Round on Kole Koulberg.
Molly Holly goes for the pin.
Jean-Luc counts: One, two, three.
The bell rings, and Molly Holly walks out of the arena, followed by Kole Koulberg about a minute afterwards.
Keith:
Well, that was a short match...but one victory for Molly Holly!
Conrad:
Koulberg was outmatched by a woman! HAH!
(Suddenly, "Forever" by Kid Rock hits the speakers, and the crowd cheers wildly, for they know who is coming down the ramp. Nick Adams' Jeep Laredo slams through the set and drives onto the ramp. The crowd cheers wildly at this crazy entrance, since Adams is just too nuts to be ignored, and he has done this once before. Nick steers to his right so that the driver's side is facing the ring, and turns off the engine. He slams the horn once in anger, and the crowd begins to cheer "ER rocks!" Adams slams open the door, slams it shut, and looks at the crowd with an air of confidence. He runs down the ramp, signals for a mic to be tossed to him, and a microphone flies throgh the air. Nick catches the mic running and slides into the ring. The crowd cheers "ER rocks" even louder, and Adams looks out at the crowd with quiet anticipation, and quite possibly a controlled rage. He then begins to speak over the mic.)
Nicholas Adams:
Well, well, well, looks like Generations is coming up pretty soon, and I happen to be in one match in this very arena! It will be my pleasure to help take down the likes of Hell on Earth side-by-side with Robb Fury, Joe Icon, the team of Bondai, and the InterNet Tag Team champions, DOWN TIME! Do you want to know why it will be my pleasure to do so? Because Volkane went and tried to find my home, and he found some old couple that just happened to have the same name, as well as a son by the same name. What a dick. For one, he was driving in suburbia. My parents live in the damn south side of Denver! Those two, I think I recognize...they're the parents of this one guy I knew in high school. We looked nothing alive, but we had the same first and last names. Since my middle name was Victor, and his was Jacob, we decided to have a coin flip to see who went by their middle name throughout high school. I won the coin toss, but Jake...or, should I say, the other Nicholas Adams, never told his parents that that had happened. My parents are still in very good shape. The other Nick does do some amateur wrestling and all that, and I actually ran in to him one time. We actually teamed up for a single match, and the announcers and the crowd were so confused that they just gave up trying to understand why the ring announcer introduced us a "Both Nicholas Adamses!" It was funny as hell, and we had a riot after that. We went out, ate some sushi, talked about what was going on at the time, and parted ways. He's finally gotten a full-time job in one of the all-rookie leagues, last I heard, but that sure wasn't my home...my home was a small apartment in south Denver. My parents moved into a bigger house after I left for college, but it sure isn't labelled with anything. That's so that random people can's just walk into your door and say some bull to you. Trust me, if you had gone to my parents' home, the first thing that he would have said would be, "Prove that you have some relation to me." And if you didn't do that, he'd have taken out a baseball bat, clocked one of you on the side of the head, then continued by knocking the remaining guy out with a right cross, and he would have finished off by telling my mom to call the cops. But seeing as you didn't get your ass kicked, you were way off. Hell, you were probably all the way across the city from where my parents live. Volkane, you're a jackass, and so is your new manage, Psycho Werewolf...speaking of which, that's really a dumb name, man. The initials PW are included in the abbreviation of the Professional Women's Wrestling League. So, Werewolf, I think that from now on, I think I'll call you Professional Woman, since you just seem unable to take down anyone in the ring anymore. Trust me, man, it's old, and you really need to get out of the act. Besides, Volkane, why do you need a manager? You're only one man. I thought that you could get your own stuff done for you. If that isn't the truth, then that's just too bad for you, isn't it? You've finally realised what I've known all along: you can't get what you need to get done on your own. Your recruitment of Royal Inferno into Hell on Earth says as much, your need for Psycho Werewolf's help says even more, and your competition for a vacant title against a man that is definitely more pathetic than you are...and that's saying a lot...finalizes the fact that the deck has to be stacked in your favor for you to EVER get a win. Sad, isn't it. Well, I am going to get the IRC title from you, regardless of anything else you guys say. And that teddy bear...well, it'll be a nice gift for my girlfriend with a little mending, I guess. Then again, you can have the stuffed animal. I'm gonna get her something nicer and less cliched than a little stuffed bear for a present.
(The crowd waits for a couple seconds as Adams collects his thoughts, and then finally gets on with his speech.)
Nicholas Adams:
Now, on to Royal Inferno. He seems pretty confident in his assumption that I need to steal the gold just to say I have it...that I have to stoop to that level. Well, I just wanna say, you must not get it, Inferno. I just don't think either Volkane or you are deserving of the IRC title, and I actually am. I don't regret that I broke into Heather's office, pulled out a few notes to herself and shredded them, and then took the IRC title. Heather removed Genesis, someone who probably deserved to have that belt, from his championship spot. she said that he was endangering the people around him just to be extreme. And then she hands off title shots to both you and Volkane. It's enough to make me heave right here and now, but I have a little more self control than that. I actually am coming out here to say that you aren't a Rising Star...you're a star that's somewhat high in the sky, but you aren't going anywhere. My opinion of you is like the opiniong that Julius Caesar had for himself. You are as constant as the Northern Star. You are constantly a jackass, you are constantly a Narcissist, you constantly berate others and have the sheer arrogance to think that people want to be like you, and you are constantly a royal pain in the ass! You say that I just want to be like you, huh? Well, if I were like you, I would have to one, smack myself in the head and ask how the hell that happened, two, go pledge loyalty to Hell on Earth, three, help them keep the stable titles, and finally, four, act like a jackass to get kicked out of Hell on Earth, but still keep the damn stable belt. Yeah, sure, EVERYBODY wants to be like you...a loser who just can't admit that he's a loser! You see, Royal Inferno, Volkane is actually being the smart one right now! You should be worried about me, Royal Inferno, and do you know why? Because after Generations, I'm going to be going after the IRC champion's ass, and if you happen to win that match, guess who the hell I'm going after: you, buddy boy. That's right, I'm going after your sorry little rear like a...damn, I can't think of any simile that can truly describe what I'm going to do to you, or how I'm going to pursue you and your title should you win the IRC belt that you should NEVER have had a shot at. The DIWF really is going to the dogs these days, and the fact that either you or Volkane will be the IRC champion just solidifies that fact. But I think that I'll be able to do a little animal control once I just get a contendorship spot for the IRC title. And trust me, the IRC title will be mine. I've waited too long to not get it now. I've waited too long to get some legitimate gold to be put down by some jackass who thinks he's all that when the guys that are all that are in the Extreme Revolution! That's right, man, the Extreme Revolution...not current or former members of Hell on Earth. I may consider just keeping this belt instead of having Dave buy a new one. But you know what?
Crowd:
WHAT?
Nicholas Adams:
You know what?
Crowd:
WHAT?
Nicholas Adams:
DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
Crowd:
WHAT?
Nicholas Adams:
I WILL STILL ALWAYS COME OUT ON TOP!
("Forever" hits the speakers and Nick drops the mic. He walks out of the ring, up the ramp, and up to his Jeep Laredo. He opens the door, turns on the engine, and drives backward over the ramp, making sure that he only goes through the busted segment of the set. The crowd cheers as the engine revs, and fireworks shoot off spontaneously as Nick's Jeep disappears behind the curtain that was originally in the back of the broken facade of the arena entrance.)
*Fade to Black*
